The Liberation of Sita Read online

  ‘They too love this forest life’ Sita said feebly.

  ‘They may like it. But the kingdom has no love for the forest. For the development of cities and for the protection of the citizens, it may become inevitable for children of the forest to migrate.’

  Sita too knew it was inevitable.

  ‘What will you do then? Will you stay back alone at Valmiki’s ashram?’

  ‘No, Surpanakha. I will take refuge in my mother, Bhudevi.’

  ‘Isn’t your mother omnipresent, Sita? I think your mother is manifest more beautifully here than anywhere else.’

  Surpanakha proudly surveyed her garden.

  Sita smiled, having understood Surpanakha’s suggestion. Her heart swelled with joy at Surpanakha’s unsolicited affection. She felt a bond of sisterhood with her.

  ‘I will certainly come, Surpanakha. After my children leave me and go to the city, I will become the daughter of Mother Earth. Resting under these cool trees, I shall create a new meaning for my life.’

  Their conversation stopped as the children returned.

  Surpanakha gave the children ripe fruits from her garden, which they ate with relish.

  ‘Mother, who is she?’ they enquired on their way back.

  ‘She is someone very close to me. A dear friend.’

  ‘But you never told us about her.’

  ‘You’ll know everything at the right time. But never forget the way to this garden in this forest. Wherever you may go, whatever you may do, never forget this path.’

  ‘We will not forget, Mother,’ Lava and Kusa promised.

  Music of the Earth

  Janaka’s palace, aglow with music, dance, the fragrance of flowers and ineffable joy and excitement, looked like an illuminated boat floating on the waves of joy.

  Naturally! Janaka’s dearest daughter Sita had been given in marriage to the handsome Sri Ramachandra, who broke the bow of Parasurama. Alongside, Sita’s sisters were married to Rama’s brothers. Ayodhya and Videha came together, and the capital rejoiced in that embrace.

  Midnight. The din of celebrations had subsided. There was no sound except that of the footsteps of the maids who stayed awake to attend to the needs of the royal household. In those silent first nights, the young couples were in raptures, looking into each other’s eyes.

  In just two nights, Sita Devi became close enough to Sri Rama to be able to converse with him freely and playfully. Rama too grew out of his innocence about what he should do with Sita’s beauty.

  Though well past midnight, neither of them had any thought of going to bed. Casual conversation, banter, jokes, witty exchanges, needless laughter, silly tantrums and elaborate appeasements! That spacious room was abounding with the excitement of love.

  Rama was telling her, with a little exaggeration, about the many demons he had slain, and how effortlessly, while accompanying Viswamitra. But Sita did not want to hear about killings in that hour. She gently stopped Rama.

  ‘During your journey into the forest, other than this devastation, did nothing wonderful happen, Rama?’ asked Sita, tousling the black locks of his hair.

  ‘As it is I’m dark. If you pull my hair over my face like that, I won’t even be visible,’ Rama said, pushing Sita’s hand aside.

  ‘Your asking reminds me that I saw an amazing beauty during my journey, Sita!’ he said.

  Sita’s face fell. How could Rama see some other beauty before he set eyes on me?

  Rama noticed Sita’s face lose its lustre. He did not have the age or the heart yet to tease Sita with the description of the beauty of another woman. So he told Sita everything.

  ‘When I saw her, I felt like greeting her with folded hands. She was the wife of a sage. Ahalya, I am told, is her name. When I looked at her large eyes, I felt frightened for a moment, finding in them the depth of an ocean that contains both fire and ice. Her enigmatic smile still haunts me. Anger, grace, detachment, compassion, love—everything was there in that smile. The symmetry of her body was not just physical; it was a balance that comes from gaining control over both mind and body through rigorous discipline. I felt like staring at her forever. Involuntarily, I raised my hands and greeted her with reverence. She smiled graciously like a goddess. Sage Viswamitra interrupted then and, leading me away, told me her story. My heart turned bitter. I was sad to know that there was no character behind that beauty. Yet I could not forget her. I can’t forget those eyes and that smile.’

  Sita was listening eagerly.

  Ahalya. A beautiful name that means ‘land untouched by a plough’. I am the daughter of Earth tilled with a plough. The one who does not even know the stroke of a plough is Ahalya. What does Rama mean by lack of character? Can I ask him?

  Rama noticed that Sita was lost in thought. He drew her closer and said, ‘When I’m with you, your thoughts can’t be elsewhere. If your mind veers away from me even for a fleeting moment, I can’t bear it.’

  Although he spoke affectionately, there was a firm authority in his voice that unsettled Sita. So she blurted out her thoughts quickly.

  ‘My mind did not wander elsewhere. I am thinking about what you said about Ahalya. What does lack of character …’

  ‘Sita, you’re still very young. You won’t understand. You shouldn’t even hear such things or talk about them.’

  Rama sealed her lips with his. Sita forgot everything in the intoxication of that kiss.

  Sita had no leisure even to reflect upon how time simply went by in Ayodhya. Rama’s love left her breathless. The indulgence of her mothers-in-law was boundless. There was no scope for her to miss her parental home. Her sisters were with her anyway. Other than complimenting her playmates for adorning her with different flowers everyday, she had nothing much to do.

  One day during those blissful times, Kausalya asked for Sita to be brought to her chambers. After dressing up appropriately, Sita offered her salutations to her mother-in-law.

  The wives of some feudatories had come to call on Sita. When they saw her, they were awed by her beauty and their open admiration delighted Kausalya.

  ‘Our Sita is the daughter of Mother Earth,’ announced Kausalya with pride.

  ‘Yes, we have heard. It’s Maharaja Janaka’s good fortune. That’s why she has surpassed Ahalya in beauty,’ said one of the queens.

  Sita started. Ahalya—the one whom Rama had admired—is she known to these women, too?

  The guests left. Kausalya called the maids and got them to ward off the evil eye cast on Sita.

  ‘I can neither stop myself from showing you off nor stop worrying about the effect of the evil eye on you,’ smiled Kausalya.

  ‘Who is Ahalya, Mother-in-law?’ Sita asked hesitantly.

  ‘The wife of Maharshi Gautama, child. An exceptional beauty with a noble character befitting her beauty. Unfortunately she was accursed.’

  ‘What happened, Mother-in-law?’

  ‘What is there to tell, child. As you know, men consider women objects of enjoyment. Someone named Indra lusted after her. One day, when Gautama was not in the ashram, Indra arrived disguised as Gautama. Ahalya mistook him for her husband and satiated his desire. When Gautama returned, the truth came out. The Maharshi disowned her. When she realized what had happened, Ahalya was stupefied. Turned almost into a lifeless rock. Now she lives in the forest, outside our world, without a shelter, and indifferent to the sun, rain or cold. Refuses to see anyone.’

  Noticing the tears in Sita’s eyes, Kausalya stopped, full of regret for what she had said.

  ‘You are still a child. I made a mistake by telling you all these things. Whatever is written in one’s fate will happen. There is nothing we can do. No one can change one’s fate. Forget it, my child. Forget about that ill-fated woman.’ To divert her mind, Kausalya led Sita out of her chambers and towards the cage of the talking parrot.

  As soon as the parrot saw them, it turned towards Sita and prattled in a strange sing-song: ‘Sita-fate’, ‘Sita-destiny’.

  Sita was scared and
, hiding behind Kausalya, asked, ‘Can I go back to my chambers, Mother-in-law?’

  Kausalya too was flustered by the parrot’s strange behaviour. ‘Let’s go, child. I’ll come with you and see Rama.’ Stopping the maids from accompanying her, Kausalya walked towards the couple’s chambers. Sita had been waiting for Rama since the afternoon. Hearing that Rama had still not returned, Kausalya stayed with Sita till the evening. When it was time for the evening puja, she left after inviting Sita and Rama to her chambers the next morning.

  Sita’s mind was full of disquiet. Recalling the story of Ahalya, she felt frightened, sorry, sad. She also felt angry because she could not understand why Rama called her characterless. Didn’t Mother-in-law say she was a woman of noble character? When she was not at fault for what had happened, why did Rama call her that? Poor Ahalya! Mother-in-law said it was her fate. Why did the parrot chirp like that? ‘Sita-fate’, ‘Sita-destiny’? She trembled at the memory of those words. Sita had developed a splitting headache by now, and drifted into sleep with it.

  The antahpuram or women’s quarters in the palace was drowned in an ocean of sorrow. Overcoming it, Sita, Rama and Lakshmana reached the banks of the river. After bidding farewell to the close confidants who accompanied them, they stepped into a boat. It was only then that Sita felt relieved. She started thinking …

  Whatever has happened has happened. How does it matter where I am as long as I am with Rama? Antahpurams have been familiar to me since childhood. Let me experience the peace and comfort of these rivers, forests and mountains. Rama’s love will be entirely mine without the interruption of politics.

  Sita’s natural temperament was to take pleasure in what she had. When they crossed the boundaries of their kingdom, the only feeling she had was of returning home. She never felt as if she was travelling to an alien land. When she mentioned this to Rama, he said with a smile, ‘You are the daughter of Earth, aren’t you? So, all this is your empire.’ Sita remembered Ahalya once again. She did not know why, whenever someone called her the daughter of Earth, she thought of Ahalya.

  The journey continued. Whenever they came across an ashram in the forest, Rama halted and met the sages and listened to their problems. As they narrated the problems created by the aboriginals, Rama’s grip on his bow tightened. Meanwhile, Sita met the wives of the sages and learned the recipes of various dishes from them.

  On the whole, time passed quite pleasantly for Sita. The two brothers, Rama and Lakshmana, decided to stay at a sage’s ashram for a couple of days. They were trying to gather information about the aboriginals in the neighbourhood. After completing the morning puja, the brothers went out. When Sita tried to assist the sage’s wife, she dissuaded her. So, coming to know of a waterfall in the vicinity, Sita asked for directions and set out for it.

  It wasn’t very far. It wasn’t even a big waterfall. But it was beautiful. Small streams of clear water flowed from the waterfall. At the bottom of the stream, pebbles of different hues sparkled like a string of jewels when the sun’s rays hit them. Sita sat with her feet in the water, observing the coloured stones.

  Sita was lost in the world of those multicoloured stones till she heard a soft, deep voice asking her, ‘Who are you, my dear?’

  When Sita turned around and looked up, she was stunned by the sight of the woman beside her. A figure of dazzling brightness! Instinctively, Sita got up and greeted her with folded hands.

  ‘My name is Sita. The wife of Sri Ramachandra.’

  She placed her hand on Sita’s shoulder and said with a smile, ‘I see.’

  That there could be so much kindness in a smile, Sita had not known until then.

  ‘Who are you, Mother?’ Sita asked, looking at her feet.

  ‘I’m called Ahalya.’

  Sita’s heart skipped a beat.

  ‘Ahalya! You are Ahalya?’

  ‘Have you heard about me?’ Ahalya laughed. Her laughter sounded like a cascade of parijata flowers.

  As Ahalya sat down, Sita sat next to her.

  ‘Yes, I have heard. My mother-in-law, Kausalya, told me the entire story. How unjust!’

  ‘What is so unjust?’ Ahalya asked matter-of-factly.

  ‘You were accused of a crime you did not commit,’ Sita said with sympathy.

  ‘Aren’t many women in this world wrongly accused, Sita?’

  ‘But wasn’t it outrageous in your case? After all, you did not know that he was not your husband …’

  ‘Do you know whether I knew this or not? Does anyone know?’

  Sita began to say something but stopped herself. She felt dazed. Recovering, she asked hesitantly, ‘You mean … you knew?’

  ‘That question has no meaning, Sita.’

  ‘But then, what is the truth? If there is something called truth, wouldn’t it have a meaning?’

  Sita was surprised and full of curiosity.

  ‘Each one to their own truth. Does anyone in this world have the power to decide between truth and untruth?’

  Looking at the mix of confusion and innocence on Sita’s face, Ahalya took pity on her.

  ‘I know it is difficult to understand, Sita. I don’t know why my story was told to you and how it was narrated. Indra lusted after me. Like everyone else, he too looked at women as if they are meant for men’s enjoyment. Knowing that I wouldn’t surrender to his desire, he came in the hours of darkness in the guise of my husband. Did I see through his disguise? That is the question that bothers many people in this world. But to my husband, the question was irrelevant. It was the same to him either way. His property, even if temporarily, had fallen into the hands of another. It was polluted. Pollution, cleanliness, purity, impurity, honour, dishonour—Brahmin men have invested these words with such power that there is no scope in them for truth and untruth. No distinction.’

  Ahalya stopped. Did Sita understand any of this? Looking at her, she felt a strange affection. She was surprised at her own willingness to share her story with Sita. Why did she feel this bond of sisterhood with her?

  ‘Why did you come to this forest, Sita?’

  Sita narrated her entire story.

  ‘You could not stay without Rama and so you came after him to dwell in the forest,’ smiled Ahalya.

  ‘I can’t stay without him even for a day. Neither can he without me. He is unlike other men,’ Sita said shyly.

  ‘All men are the same, Sita. Especially in the matter of their wives.’

  ‘My husband is not such a person. He will enquire into truth and untruth.’

  ‘But he does enquire, doesn’t he?’ Ahalya said sarcastically.

  ‘Meaning?’

  ‘Meaning … What does conducting an enquiry imply, Sita? Distrust, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be better, instead, to believe in either your innocence or guilt?’

  Sita’s mind was vexed. What kind of perverse logic is this? She says there is no such thing called truth. Says nobody knows it. Doesn’t talk about herself.

  ‘So you won’t say what the truth in your case is.’

  ‘Whatever gives you peace of mind, consider that the truth.’

  Sita’s face lost colour. She felt that Ahalya was insulting her. How often she had thought of her in these last few days, but perhaps Rama was right. Perhaps she was characterless after all.

  ‘It is difficult to bear with women who talk like me, Sita. It becomes easier if I accept that I have made a mistake. Then there is atonement for every sin. If I argue that I have not made any mistake, they will take pity on me. They will take my side, seeing me as the victim of an unjust allegation. But if I say, “Right or wrong, it’s my business, what has it to do with you? Who gave you the right or authority to judge”, then nobody will be able to tolerate it.’

  ‘Are you saying that even Maharshi Gautama does not have that authority?’ Sita was unable to understand Ahalya.

  ‘Society gave him that authority. I didn’t. Till I give it, no one can have that authority over me.’

  ‘But he has disowned you.’
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  ‘Pity, that’s his loss.’

  ‘And you … they say you lived like a lifeless stone for years.’

  ‘That’s what you think. I have spent all these years thinking about my identity in this universe. I have learned how the world runs—on what morals and laws, and what their roots are. I have gained a lot of wisdom.’

  ‘That there is no truth and untruth. Is that the wisdom you gained?’ Sita asked sarcastically.

  ‘Truth does not remain the same forever but keeps changing continuously—that is the wisdom I earned.’

  ‘There is truth. Unchanging truth. Rama’s love for me, my love for Rama is a truth. There is no untruth in it. All the wisdom you’ve earned will get washed away in the face of that truth,’ Sita said emotionally.

  ‘If that is so, I’ll understand that aspect of wisdom, too, Sita.’

  Sita did not feel like dragging on the conversation. She felt agitated, anguished. She wanted the comfort of Rama’s presence immediately. She got up and folded her hands in farewell.

  Ahalya placed her hand on Sita’s head and, blessing her, said, ‘Never agree to a trial, Sita. Don’t bow down to authority.’

  As if she could not bear to listen to those words, Sita left in a hurry and walked away without looking back.

  That night after telling Rama about her day, Sita said softly, ‘I met Ahalya.’

  ‘Where?’ Rama jumped up.

  ‘Why are you so alarmed? I went near the waterfall.’

  ‘Alone?’

  ‘Yes. It’s close by and very serene.’

  ‘Don’t go anywhere alone, Sita,’ Rama said, sounding worried.

  ‘All right, I won’t. Will you not allow me to tell you about Ahalya?’

  Rama did not say anything.

  ‘As you said, she is a rare beauty. You feel like folding your hands in reverence at her splendour. But what she said made no sense. That there is no such thing called truth, that the truth keeps changing—she said all kinds of things. They didn’t sound pleasant to me. I felt annoyed.’